when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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