I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
