I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
