Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
