remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
no you cant smoke seaweed
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
