turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
