I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
