Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
