I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
