i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
