i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
