I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
this just has baby written all over it
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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