imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
