Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
