some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
