I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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