I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
false alarm. still invincible.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
