I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
