Grow some girl-balls and come out already
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
