Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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