i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize