My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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