im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
