i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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