Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You smell like stripper and shame
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
