I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize