sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
