This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
