Yo dont text me then not text me
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
