I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
