We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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