Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
