Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
