I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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