i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize