so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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