glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
