Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
i think my cat just said my name.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
