I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Randomize
