idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
