Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He shit in the fireplace
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
