We won't sleep together?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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