i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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