Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize