I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
