It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
