cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
