didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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