Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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