I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
