Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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