I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Randomize