I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
