In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
