the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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