I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
