I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
