Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
