Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
