She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
