I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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