Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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