...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
