He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
