He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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