Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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