its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
