so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
