oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
